Hi everyone, I’m Jason Zumwalt!
You might remember me as Niko Bellic’s Cousin Roman. Yes, that’s me. The one who wants to call him to go bowling.. No more of that Cliche.. I like to play pool and shoot darts… So what I’m really here to tell you, is I’ve bought this site.. I was looking for one, and I found someone chump willing to sell their site at the right price..
That’s right everyone.. I bought this site ! For the low, low price of a can of beer and a dollar bill from a dirty strip joint, and an autographed picture of me. Now that it’s all mine, things are going to be changing around here. No more of this crappy stuff about Niko singing and paper dolls. Nope, prepare yourselves for awesomeness and pray I don’t steal your soul as easy as the last owner of this site.
If you need to know more about this deal, tough crap, crack babies. Stick around and learn what this place is going to be about from now on.
Your mother will warn you about us, but your daddy will say, “Go ahead son, it’s the internet. It’s a wonderland full of Porn and cute kittens. You have to learn about it someday!
Love your new overlord, Jason “Roman Bellic” Zumwalt!*** This was for our April Fools Day Event, that released a teaser clip from the Newest Endeavor from Oliver Vaquer & Jason Zumwalt’s youtube show “Too Old For This Shit” #TOFTS
Rockstar Network thanks Jason Zumwalt, & Oliver Vaquer for letting us post this as our April Fools Surprise and being part of of a Twitter Chatter about a fake take over of the Rockstar Network site..
